Or, as my friend Borat would say, how to get out of bedtime not.

So awhile back I just wasn’t having it with the bedtime thing. I wasn’t ready, I still had some stuff I wanted to get done. Well, the ‘Rents weren’t having it either.

After my bath they brought me into the bedroom to get dressed for bed. It’s pretty sad… they turn down the lights and play soft music and talk in hushed voices – pathetic. Anyway, they set me standing up in my crib for about a minute, I guess so they could get some things arranged. I’ll show them, I thought…

Ah, the refreshing feeling of relieving. I baptized my blanket, my sheet, my mattress cover, and another blanket covering Mommy’s ingenious bumper. Well, I thought this would at least buy me an hour or two – you know, washing sheets and what not.

On the contrary, these people just brushed it off like it was nothing. Mommy laughed and Daddy got to work getting me greased up and dressed for bed. Mommy actually had some extra sheets and blankets that were already waiting for me. She got the bed changed and everything proceeded according to their evil plan.

Seems they’re getting wiser… hmmmm. Well, let this serve as a warning then – you can’t keep the Gremlin down people. I’m just gonna have to come back stronger next time.